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Description

Hello, my name is Matthew Weber, and I am the creator of Kardashtuku.com. I made the original version of this website (kardashtuku.webnode.com) back in 2019 as a joke site for a fictional nation I had made in its namesake. I had always been interested in comedy, fiction writing, and worldbuilding, so I thought it would be a fun endeavor. That first site never quite changed from its original comedic intention. Later, though, I made a second website called kardashtukuweb.webnode.com in 2021, which saw a massive shift in focus. My interests began to branch out, and the website saw several odd additions over the year. I had added games, simulations, other more serious stories, art, maps, graphs, and a ton of soul. Kardashtuku.com was no longer a spoof site I made as a middle-schooler; it had become a culmination of my passion and hobbies. In late 2022, Webnode—the free site-hoster I was using—had its services unavailable for a couple of days. I was terrified that all of my work had been lost. Fortunately, it came back online, but I took into real consideration the mental damage that would occur had I lost access to the site. I completely switched everything over from Webnode to Google Sites (as I had trusted Google to stay afloat as a company), and I bought the domain Kardashtuku.com. That is the site you see right here. After a couple of years, I realized—perhaps a little late—that this website wasn't just a project, it was my magnum opus. It was, and is, quite literally everything I am, I do, I see, and I feel, all condensed into one public website. This wasn't just Kardashtuku; it was something else. That's why I rebranded to Kardzer Productions (keeping the domain name for obvious reasons). It felt silly to label everything I did as Kardashtuku, since that had become an adjunct part of the site. Kardzer Productions is not a real company—it is me. Kardzer Productions is a representation of a human who found joy in expressing themselves in so many different parts of life. I don't believe that I am a good writer, an amazing storyteller, an advanced programmer, a Tolkien-level worldbuilder, or a genius comedian, far from it. I have not found fulfillment in dedicating myself to one thing; I just can't do it. However, I have found a profound fulfillment in what I have done here: everything. This website has grammar mistakes riddled throughout, perhaps due to my 9th-grade writings or the nature of growth. It has music I made that sounds quite bad to the average listener, perhaps due to my poor taste. It has shitty photography and bad drawings, perhaps due to my inexperience in such fields. It has inefficient programs and embarrassingly bad jokes, perhaps speaking to the essence of my person. It has an inexpressible place in my heart—I need no 'perhaps' to explain that.

WARNINGS:

Visiting the "All Simulations" page on mobile will likely cause the website to crash

If you have an issue with this website not being in dark mode, please turn down the brightness on your screen or...

TOUCH GRASS

Disclaimers

Quote of the Update

"Born of Beets" - beet

Pledge of allegiance

I rest assured, under the allegiance and loyalty of Kardashtuku and its silver sword, I will not fall. For we have the royal army and the blood of an empire.

Latest three updates -

(Basic (0.0.0.1) updates not shown)

Update 3.12.1.0 (7/30/2025)

Added civilization page and tons of info to Saga Risutu.

Update 3.12.0.0

Added the Photos page and cleaned up a lot of extras and duplicates. Added stuff to the Saga Risutu Design page

Update 3.11.3.0

Re-did the comedy sections. Added the "Idiom" page.

National Holidays

February 11th- Kardashtuku Independence Day
March 27th- Sohes Recognition Day
April 25th~29th- Kardashtuku Week
October 12th- Someone's Birthday
December 2nd- Red Star Day

Info on Kardashtuku

National Anthem- Kardiştüğü Kışü (Kardashtuku Song)
Capital- The royal palace is located in Capital City (sometimes referred to as Loeg) but the official state capital is Kardashtuku City.
National Dish- Loöiğa çüp (Capital Soup)
National Animal- Blue rat
National Sport- Ping Pong
National Languages- Kardaka, English, Russian
Currency- Was the Kardashtuku Anex, now is the Euro
Current King: Kağan Fisuity
Current Heir: Unknown
Current Chancellor: Yiğit Sokolov
Kardashtuku Blue: #220F6E
Site color: Black on Hawkes Blue #d0e4f4 (Inspired by rat.ru)

Phrases in Kardaka

Thank you ---> Taşek şa (Tashek sha)

You are welcome ---> Şa wılcömeğ (Sha wheel-come-ej)

I am sorry --->Möm çırzıhüng (Mome serzy-hung)

Excuse me --->Aefer mı (Ay-fer me)

See you --->Şıü şa (Shee-ue sha)

Good luck ---> Aşç üdaşa (Ach ue-dasha)

Good night --->Aşç öçi (Ach oh-see)

Good morning --->Aşç üşö (Ach ue-soh)

Good afternoon --->Aşç yfşçapöldyn (Ach ife-cha-poldine)

Good day ---> Aşç Singonşu (Ach sin-gon-shue)

Congrats --->Tebrık (Tebreek)

Please --->Lütfü (Lute-fue)

How are you --->Şuçek şaeğ (Shusek shaej)

I am fine ---> Möm aşç (Mome ach)

Population

The population of Kardashtuku was 28.4 million as of 2022

73% of Kardashtuku's population lives in highly urban areas

56% of Kardashtuku's population lives entirely within the three largest cities

10.8 Million people live in Kardashtuku City

5.6 Million people live in Capital City

4.35 Million people live in Silver City

The next 4 largest cities:

4. Laveat City- About 918 thousand population

5. New Warsaw- About 770 thousand population

6. Lintil City- About 435 thousand population

7. Charles City- About 338 thousand population

The rest of the cities and towns have an average of around 300k.

About 1 million people are considered "almost completely rural" by the Kardashtuku government. This means that they live in very small towns or no town at all.

YouTube Channels

Kardzer: Kardzer is the main YouTube channel for Kardashtuku. It produces variety/project comedy content. Kardzer is a mixture of "Kardashtuku" and "Azerbaijan". I chose this name because it's reflective of my interests, easy to remember, and easy to spell. The type of content you might see will vary from fun little projects I do to anything else I find interesting or funny.

Kardashtuku: Kardashtuku is my second YouTube channel where I post information about Kardashtuku and its related lore. You can expect to see music, mapping videos, and other less comedic things.

Cardash2ku: Carash2ku is sort of like my "completely unrelated channel" where I post things that don't fit the theme of any of my other channels or that I'm not proud of.

Kardzer Music: A bad music channel.

Sections Description

Home Page: The home page for kardashtuku.com. Includes general information pertaining to the website as a whole.

Kardzer Page: A page that describes and breaks down Kardzer Productions.

Website Section: A section with several pages pertaining to important website info (e.g. updates, disclaimers, and project information)

Media Section: Contains information and links to various social media accounts owned by me or my friends.

Stories Section: Contains stories I've made (including Kardashtuku).

Games/Apps Section: Contains various games and simulations. A majority of them are in Python, but (most of) the Flesh Baby games were coded in Blocks, and (some of) my Itch.io games were coded in C#.

Comedy Section: Contains various less serious things. Pretty self-explanatory. Kinda outdated since I post most of my comedy stuff to YouTube, so if it's not really funny, I apologize.

Music Section: A small section with information on my music and a link to my music channel.

Misc Section: Contains a lot of random stuff that didn't fit any specific categories.

The sections are mostly to help you navigate the website, and you really could just look up stuff using the search icon.

Random Quotes

"Kardashtuku is a being, a state of matter, I think. I actually have mild to severe dementia according to my lawyer" - Wet Ham

"Where is my iced coffee, it was in the fridge and now it's gone. Was it you Greg? You do this all the time." - Barbruh Stryysand Jr. the third

"If the thing is not good, let that thing be...umm what was I going to say again?"- Saucacious Dee

"If bees invented honey, would that make them the first scientists, or the first chefs?"- Connphused Pierson

"I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullsheiße! I did not hit her! I did not. Oh hi Mark."- Tomathan Wisseau

"Do people eat butter?"- Someone who most definitely doesn't have anger issues

"To show you the power of fLeX tApE I sawed this BOAT IN HALF"- William Henry Harrison Ford

Important "Company" Terms

"Kardashtuku" is the name of the nation of Kardashtuku. It is what you see described historically and geographically on this website. "Kardzer" is the name of the main YouTube channel and is based on a combination of 'Kardashtuku' and 'Azerbaijan'. "Kard" is a shortened term (in relation to Kardashtuku). "Sandwich/which/witch Studios" is the name of a film studio that I help my friends with. "Runner/WIN Corp" is the name of a fictional company that runs this website. "Saga Risutu" is the name of the broader story surrounding Kardashtuku. Finally, everything I make is under the umbrella of "Kardzer Productions". It is named after the fictional nation and is not mentioned much, as it doesn't play into any storylines.

Coming Soon

Fixing issues

Random content

Expansion on stories

A better coming soon section

Stats (as of 6/23/24)

~77 Pages in the navigation menu

~89 pages on the entire website

~50,000 words (not including most PowerPoints and charts)

An average of ~649 words per page

Current Iteration of the Kardzer Theme

kardashtuku.com is the sole website of Kardzer Productions. Everything you see on this website — excluding recommendations and affiliated peoples — is created and owned by Kardzer Productions. As of now, Kardzer Productions does not make any money off of its products (even including advertising and donations) and is meant entirely for your entertainment. This website is not child-friendly, as it may contain vulgar language and sensitive topics. Now, please, enjoy your time on kardashtuku.com.

*Note: I swear the name Kardashtuku is in no way related to a certain Hollywood Reality TV Show family. It's purely by coincidence, and if I could go back in time and tell myself to make a different name, I would.

Hello there traveler, I see you have no weapons. Here, take this sword. I have no need for it anymore

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